running out
Time can be tricky and difficult to master. It seems like there is never enough time in the day to do it all. The list I make in the mornings is never checked off completely by the end of the day. I feel like I am constantly running late, haphazardly attempting to finish my coffee before the traffic gets backed up in the morning.
If you are like me in this regard you may tell yourself, ‘I am thriving off of the chaos,’ or that you have ‘poor time management’ and that is why you can't get it together. I want you to know that you are not alone and to stop feeling so bad about it! Whether you are the most unorganized or meticulous as they come, it is a universal experience to feel like time is slipping through your fingers. As you progress into adulthood the old saying becomes real and you find that time really does go faster as you age. You finally realize how quickly relationships can form and disintegrate, how you blink and summer is over, or how fast your little siblings grow up; time becomes precious to you. It moves faster than you can take it all in.
Despite the productivity gurus that preach efficiency by squeezing as much as you possibly can into the day, I have found their methods exhausting. I’m not convinced that time is something that we should be trying so hard to wrestle to the ground, master, and bend to our will. Being perfectly productive and 100% efficient is a job for machines, not human beings. We shouldn’t squander time by always doom scrolling and binge watching, but learn to dance with time in a natural cadence.
I argue this because you need time in your schedule for all of the things that are unplanned like:
stopping what you are so busy doing and calling your mom because she misses you
facetiming your old friend from college because you have not spoken in months
instead of getting ahead on your laundry, get ahead on starting that new painting because you said you wanted to put more time into your hobbies
In our society, it’s all about achieving the most goals, however, making sure you spend time actually enjoying your life is crucial to not only living life well but fully. Here is how I have found it easier to accomplish goals while being present in life.
Once you stop rushing through life, you will be amazed how much more life you have time for.
We're a species that rushes through everything, then complains that time flies.
-Steve Maraboli
1. Make your goals realistic.
I was on instagram recently and saw a very interesting and humorous phrase called the ‘time optimist’. Have you ever found yourself leaving for an event or for work and trying to accomplish a million tasks along with getting ready and end up being late? Congratulations you are a time optimist! You think that you always have more time than you actually do. I get it girl, ambition is good, great even, but 30 minutes is 30 minutes no matter how you spin it. I used to make to-do lists that were several items long, ones that assigned a task for every hour of the day. Over time I found it did not work for me; it was much better for me to have a few big weekly goals and to break those out to at most four to five tasks a day. Time is definite, so one way to avoid not getting everything checked off the list is by not having such a long list to begin with.
2. Create unscheduled time.
Have you heard of the term rot days? There is a trend on tik tok where people make whole days of doing absolutely nothing. They eat take out, watch tv, scroll on social media, stare into the abyss for hours in their bed. Rot. Now there have been people that have made arguments about the mental state of those who partake in these days often but I am not here to comment on that, but to make an observation. I think part of the reason we have seen a rise in rot days is because there is a true need to pause from the everyday grind of life. Everyone needs a sabbath. A day where they completely unplug and replenish themselves.
I think that rot days, which I have had plenty of so no judgment, are out of a deep need of rest because we have not scheduled it at any other time. I understand that everyone may not have that privilege due to different life circumstances, but as much as you can, make sure that you have time where you are not constantly working, doing chores, homework, or other mentally taxing activities. I have found that this helps with me having less ‘rot’ days and instead days where I am intentionally restful. In this time I can practice mindfulness, go outside and appreciate nature, enjoy the sound of people laughing at a conversation, and listen to the quiet hum of my coffee machine as it brews.
3. Get comfortable with the word no.
This one may be the hardest for you to follow through with, especially if you are a people pleaser. Every day, week, month, and year, we are all bombarded with a series of endless opportunities and choices. Saying yes to this party, volunteer opportunity, or an extra responsibility at work. Help your friends with this and your family with that. If you are not careful you will look back on the time you spent this month and wonder where it all went; you didn’t get half of the things done that you wanted to. There is nothing wrong with picking up a recreational activity or taking on an extra responsibility at work so you can advance your career. In fact, these are very good things. The issue comes when you find yourself saying yes to everything that comes your way. If you say yes to everything offered to you, you may find you never have time for your interests, or priorities because others have already filled it for you. You have to advocate for the way that you want to spend your time. That may mean saying no to the extra shift at work so you can make time to catch a movie with friends or family; because you prioritize those people and time for fun in your life. See, neither of those things was wrong, but you have to realize that not everything that is good is good for you. No one knows your life, schedule, relationships, or energy levels better than you. Therefore you have to be the gatekeeper in your life of what you will allow in and what you allow to be taken out. What is going to take your time and energy? Keeping these in a careful balance of caring for yourself and others is key to making the most of your schedule.
Time is elusive and extremely precious. Take extra care to value it, but also make sure you have room to enjoy it. The more intentional I am about this, the more I feel like life is something that I am meant to live, not a game that I am trying to win. I hope this blog inspires you to take time and live today.
